Why Farts Are Funny - A Letter To My Wife
While the sexes may never fully understand each other, I will attempt to explain why farts are funny.
First of all, at it's most basic, farts make a funny noise. Like blowing a raspberry on a baby's tummy. Yes it tickles, but there's also a funny noise! If you think we're supposed to mature beyond that of a 6 month old, you're going to be disappointed. Simple funny sounds will always be funny. You can teach us not to fart in church, during weddings, on a first date or job interview, but that does not make a fart sound any less funny. If a fart made the same sound as an old-time car horn that went "AAAHHOOOOGAAAA" I don't think we could function as a society. We men would be too busy laughing hysterically.
Next, there's a funny smell. One element of comedy is "misery at a distance". If a person walking next to you slips and falls, you rush to help them up and make sure they are okay. If it happens to a person on television during America's Funniest Home Videos, then it's freakin' hilarious! So farting in, let's say, a co-workers office causes them just a bit of temporary misery at a distance. It's misery they can walk away from (And in some cases it's absolutely necessary!) and it's only temporary. It's not like a punch or a head lock, it causes no real serious pain.
And third, we as men don't feel shame or embarrassment the way you ladies do. Which is one of the reasons WE NEED YOU! John Mellencamp said of his wife during a radio interview "I'd be crapping in the streets if it weren't for her." You ladies help clean us up sometimes and rightly so. Now there are some things you ladies can learn from us in this area. Not that we want you competing with us at farting, but can you loosen up a little if you show up at a party and another woman is wearing the same outfit? When that happens with us men, we think its great! You become best friends all night! It's a bond that transcends social and economic boundaries. A doctor and a janitor could be wearing the same ugly, Hawaiian print shirt and all night they will say to each other "Hey, great shirt you have there!" And it would be just as funny every damn time! It's what we do to help support each other.
Either that or boys are just gross.
First of all, at it's most basic, farts make a funny noise. Like blowing a raspberry on a baby's tummy. Yes it tickles, but there's also a funny noise! If you think we're supposed to mature beyond that of a 6 month old, you're going to be disappointed. Simple funny sounds will always be funny. You can teach us not to fart in church, during weddings, on a first date or job interview, but that does not make a fart sound any less funny. If a fart made the same sound as an old-time car horn that went "AAAHHOOOOGAAAA" I don't think we could function as a society. We men would be too busy laughing hysterically.
Next, there's a funny smell. One element of comedy is "misery at a distance". If a person walking next to you slips and falls, you rush to help them up and make sure they are okay. If it happens to a person on television during America's Funniest Home Videos, then it's freakin' hilarious! So farting in, let's say, a co-workers office causes them just a bit of temporary misery at a distance. It's misery they can walk away from (And in some cases it's absolutely necessary!) and it's only temporary. It's not like a punch or a head lock, it causes no real serious pain.
And third, we as men don't feel shame or embarrassment the way you ladies do. Which is one of the reasons WE NEED YOU! John Mellencamp said of his wife during a radio interview "I'd be crapping in the streets if it weren't for her." You ladies help clean us up sometimes and rightly so. Now there are some things you ladies can learn from us in this area. Not that we want you competing with us at farting, but can you loosen up a little if you show up at a party and another woman is wearing the same outfit? When that happens with us men, we think its great! You become best friends all night! It's a bond that transcends social and economic boundaries. A doctor and a janitor could be wearing the same ugly, Hawaiian print shirt and all night they will say to each other "Hey, great shirt you have there!" And it would be just as funny every damn time! It's what we do to help support each other.
Either that or boys are just gross.
posted by Norm at 9:45 AM
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