Dumb Advice
I’ve gotten a lot of dumb advice over the years. It’s not that it was bad advice, necessarily. It was that it sounded good at the time, but if you really stop to think about it, it’s really not that good. Here we go:
Live every day like it’s your last.
Okay, this is backwards. I can’t live every day going skydiving, driving a racecar, and calling various family members to either proclaim my sincere affection or apologize. I think the phrase should be “Live every day like what you do is going to have consequences for the next 100 years.” In his book Tender Warrior, Stu Weber points out that his Grandfather is having an affect on how he raises his children. If I stop to think the way I raise my son is going to have an affect on my grandchildren and even great grandchildren, that is enough to make me stop and think about how I’m treating my child, what I want to teach him, and how I want him to turn out.
Follow your childhood dreams.
Sounds poetic and romantic. You know what my childhood dream was? To have a pumpkin farm. I’d grow pumpkins and people from all over would come to me to buy pumpkins for Halloween. (By the way, in my adult life, I can’t grow things, I don’t like farming and I’m not real fond of being outside. Digital video editors pretty much live among silly toys and movie memorabilia in dark rooms called “editing suites”)What I’m saying is, as a kid, I really didn’t have any dreams. Not anything I could do making a living at, anyways. The dream of finding a dollar on the sidewalk really isn’t much of a profession. There is a proverb that says “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, instead of the heart-warming advice that the dreams of our youth could somehow yield a steady paycheck, I think the advice should be “Do whatever it is you’re good at, makes you happy, and you can earn a living while doing it.
Okay, one more
If you have a child, you should give them a choice about what they want – like “Do you want pancakes or cereal?”
Again, this is not real good advice. The problem is, if this is done too often, the kid starts to expect it. After a while, he then wants it to be his choice when to go to bed. Or it should be his choice to wear his winter coat. And he might not feel like it, at that particular moment. He’d rather choose to wear his swimming suit. Well, at 30 degrees, as a Dad, I pretty much insist on him wearing a coat. It’s not up for discussion. In fact, we’re not leaving until his coat is on. So, the advice there really should be “Give your child a few choices that they are competent making, and are age-appropriate. But there should be enough instances where they should take what you give them and like it.”
I’ve gotten a lot of dumb advice over the years. It’s not that it was bad advice, necessarily. It was that it sounded good at the time, but if you really stop to think about it, it’s really not that good. Here we go:
Live every day like it’s your last.
Okay, this is backwards. I can’t live every day going skydiving, driving a racecar, and calling various family members to either proclaim my sincere affection or apologize. I think the phrase should be “Live every day like what you do is going to have consequences for the next 100 years.” In his book Tender Warrior, Stu Weber points out that his Grandfather is having an affect on how he raises his children. If I stop to think the way I raise my son is going to have an affect on my grandchildren and even great grandchildren, that is enough to make me stop and think about how I’m treating my child, what I want to teach him, and how I want him to turn out.
Follow your childhood dreams.
Sounds poetic and romantic. You know what my childhood dream was? To have a pumpkin farm. I’d grow pumpkins and people from all over would come to me to buy pumpkins for Halloween. (By the way, in my adult life, I can’t grow things, I don’t like farming and I’m not real fond of being outside. Digital video editors pretty much live among silly toys and movie memorabilia in dark rooms called “editing suites”)What I’m saying is, as a kid, I really didn’t have any dreams. Not anything I could do making a living at, anyways. The dream of finding a dollar on the sidewalk really isn’t much of a profession. There is a proverb that says “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, instead of the heart-warming advice that the dreams of our youth could somehow yield a steady paycheck, I think the advice should be “Do whatever it is you’re good at, makes you happy, and you can earn a living while doing it.
Okay, one more
If you have a child, you should give them a choice about what they want – like “Do you want pancakes or cereal?”
Again, this is not real good advice. The problem is, if this is done too often, the kid starts to expect it. After a while, he then wants it to be his choice when to go to bed. Or it should be his choice to wear his winter coat. And he might not feel like it, at that particular moment. He’d rather choose to wear his swimming suit. Well, at 30 degrees, as a Dad, I pretty much insist on him wearing a coat. It’s not up for discussion. In fact, we’re not leaving until his coat is on. So, the advice there really should be “Give your child a few choices that they are competent making, and are age-appropriate. But there should be enough instances where they should take what you give them and like it.”
posted by Norm at 9:03 AM
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